The TOP 13 Halloween Candies – RANKED

A not-at-all subjective list of treats!

Halloween’s Thursday! And guess what! Here’s your infallible list of THE TOP 13 HALLOWEEN CANDIES – RANKED, to maximize your Trick-or-Treating experience.

What does this have to do with comic books? Nothing, except you can eat these while dressed as your favorite superhero.

Let’s get right to it:

13. Apples. Just kidding.

12. Smarties. So much better than Sweet-Tarts. Addictive too. There’s no way you can eat just one little roll.

11. Tootsie Pops. Lotta bang for the buck here. Still don’t know how many licks it takes to get to the center, though:

10. Dots. Dots rock, man. But beware the stale ones.

9. Milk Duds. If you can keep your fillings intact, Milk Duds will give you a sugar high that will last you through Thanksgiving.

8. Peanut M&M’s. The best M&M’s variety. I will brook no dissent here.

7. Snickers. A Halloween staple.

6. Tootsie Roll. Sometimes chocolatey is better than chocolate, y’know what I’m saying? Midgees are fine and dandy, by the way, but I really prefer the bigger ones.

5. Milky Way. Snickers without peanuts. And in this case, that’s generally how I prefer it.

4. Mellowcreme Pumpkins. Pop quiz: What exactly is mellowcreme? Forget it, I don’t want to know.

3. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. This is my wife’s favorite, far and away. So this is for her.

2. Candy Corn. C’mon, it’s the quintessential Halloween candy. Doesn’t mean it’s #1, however.

1. 3 Musketeers. Easily. Without question. When you get a 3 Musketeers in your plastic pumpkin candy carrier, you have hit the jackpot, Tiger. And forget “Fun Size.” “Fun Size” is not fun at all. It’s just a dirty tease. No, if you find that magic house that gives out full-size 3 Musketeers bars, you have found Halloween nirvana.

MORE

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— The Goofy Giddiness of Disney’s CHILLING, THRILLING HAUNTED HOUSE Record. Click here.

Author: Dan Greenfield

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