JACK NICHOLSON’S 13 Best JOKER Quotes — RANKED

A birthday salute to the actor — as the Joker’s 80th anniversary approaches…

UPDATED 4/22/20: Hey, it’s Jack Nicholson’s 83rd birthday! Not just that, but the Joker is celebrating his 80th anniversary this week, thanks to the April 24, 1940, release of Batman #1. This piece first ran in 2016 but it’s obviously the perfect time to re-present it (in slightly altered form). Dig it. — Dan

You can thank me for Jack Nicholson’s Joker.

Really, you can.

When I was, I dunno, 10 or 11 — right around the time I was reading this — I would write to DC Comics with my dream cast for a Batman movie, and the only actor I wanted as the Joker was Jack Nicholson.

Wouldn’t you know that a decade later, he was cast in Tim Burton’s Batman.

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So you’re welcome!

By the way,  if it were a Ra’s al Ghul movie, I’d want Christopher Lee as the Demon’s Head (click here for more on that coolness) and Caroline Munro as Talia (click here for more on that awesomeness).

But back to the Joker.

Jack Nicholson is 83 — he was born April 22, 1937 — and so I figured the best way to celebrate his birthday is with his 13 best quotes as the Clown Prince of Crime. I’m even going to rank them!

Here goes:

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13. “I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.”

12. “Hello, Vinny. It’s your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check!”

11. “We have a flying mouse to kill, and I wanna clean my claws.”

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10. “Nice outfit.”

9. “I didn’t ask.” (OK, it was as Jack Napier. But still.)

8. “Rememberrrr youuuuu… are my Number One-uh… guyyyyy!”

7. “I’m glad you’re dead!”

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6. “My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn’t somebody tell me he had one of those… things?!”

5. “This town needs an enema!”

4. “You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

3. “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”

2. “You can call me… Joker. And as you can see, I’m a lot happier.”

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1. “Wait till they get a load of me.”

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MORE

— The Complete BATMAN ’89 WEEK Index. Click here.

— 13 THINGS I Still Love About BATMAN ’89 (Mostly). Click here.

Author: Dan Greenfield

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19 Comments

  1. What about the line….”You dropped me into that vat of chemicals! That wasn’t easy to get over, and don’t think that I didn’t try.”

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  2. To follow up on number three. I distinctly remember the Joker, after saying this, turning to his gang and saying “Don’t just stand there, go and ask him.” The film cuts to the gand running out of the mueseum and going after Batman. Unfortunately, for some reason, this line has been cut from all video and dvd releases. Too bad because its great.

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    • This was what I was looking for!

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  3. When Joker and Vicki Vale are up in the belfry dancing. “Ah. Beauty and the beast. Course if anyone calls you beast,
    I’ll rip their lungs out.”

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  4. As to number 1, I always thought the quote actually went like this, “Winged freak. Wait till they get a load of me!”

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  5. im only laughing on the outside,my smile is just skin deep.if you look inside im really crying,you might join me for a weep (ffffffffffffffffffffffff)

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    • Todd has the number #1, let’s all be honest with ourselves! Ha ha ha!

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  6. “What kind of a world is it when a man dressed up like a bat gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!”

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  7. “We have a flying mouse to kill, and I wanna clean my claws.”
    Thanks for sharing great article

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  8. “If you gotta go, go with a smile.” #1

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  9. “I’m of a mind to make some mookie!”

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  10. How about when he’s looking through the pictures and he first sees Vicki Vale. He says “stop the press” My mom and I always quote that line

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  11. You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh?

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    • I always liked when the Joker sez “I gotta get you to the church on time.” Happy birthday Mr. Nicholas, .

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