JACK NICHOLSON’S 13 Best JOKER Quotes — Ranked!

Love that Joker!


UPDATED 4/22/18: Jack Nicholson turns 81! This list is as good now as when he turned 79 — so dig it!

You can thank me for Jack Nicholson’s Joker.

Really, you can.

When I was, I dunno, 10 or 11 — right around the time I was reading this — I would write to DC Comics with my dream cast for a Batman movie, and the only actor I wanted as the Joker was Jack Nicholson.

Wouldn’t you know that a decade later, he was cast in Tim Burton’s Batman.


So you’re welcome!

By the way,  if it were a Ra’s al Ghul movie, I’d want Christopher Lee as the Demon’s Head (click here for more on that coolness) and Caroline Munro as Talia (click here for more on that awesomeness).

But back to the Joker.

Jack Nicholson is 79 — he was born April 22, 1937 — and so I figured the best way to celebrate his birthday is with his 13 best quotes as the Clown Prince of Crime. I’m even going to rank them!


13. “I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.

12. “Hello, Vinny. It’s your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check!”

11. “We have a flying mouse to kill, and I wanna clean my claws.”


10. “Nice outfit.”

9. “I didn’t ask.” (OK, it was as Jack Napier.But still.)

8. “Rememberrrr youuuuu… are my Number One-uh… guyyyyy!”

7. “I’m glad you’re dead!”


6. “My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn’t somebody tell me he had one of those… things?!”

5. “This town needs an enema!”

4. “You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

3. “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”

2. “You can call me… Joker. And as you can see, I’m a lot happier.”


1. “Wait till they get a load of me.”


Don’t see yours? Add it in the comments below or in whichever social-media thread you found this!

Author: Dan Greenfield

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  1. What about the line….”You dropped me into that vat of chemicals! That wasn’t easy to get over, and don’t think that I didn’t try.”

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  2. To follow up on number three. I distinctly remember the Joker, after saying this, turning to his gang and saying “Don’t just stand there, go and ask him.” The film cuts to the gand running out of the mueseum and going after Batman. Unfortunately, for some reason, this line has been cut from all video and dvd releases. Too bad because its great.

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  3. When Joker and Vicki Vale are up in the belfry dancing. “Ah. Beauty and the beast. Course if anyone calls you beast,
    I’ll rip their lungs out.”

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  4. As to number 1, I always thought the quote actually went like this, “Winged freak. Wait till they get a load of me!”

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  5. im only laughing on the outside,my smile is just skin deep.if you look inside im really crying,you might join me for a weep (ffffffffffffffffffffffff)

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    • Todd has the number #1, let’s all be honest with ourselves! Ha ha ha!

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