A 50th ANNIVERSARY stage production worthy of Broadway! By JIM BEARD Detective Comics #457, by Denny O’Neil and Dick Giordano, came out 50 (!) years ago, on Dec. 30, 1975. Some would say it has everything a Batman story should have: action, pathos, dark humor, character, a bit of embroidering to the Dark Knight’s legend… For my money, it only lacks one thing—singing! My mind often goes to strange places, part of being a writer of strange things, I guess. When I cracked open my copy of the issue to set my mind to writing this anniversary article, it dawned on me that the story would make a great stage musical. Don’t ask, just go with me here, ‘kay? So, without further ado, imagine the curtain rises on a stage and the story begins as the orchestra starts up the first song… Funny thing: This musical just happens to have 13 of ’em. Imagine that. — “Crime Alley.” It begins with a moody set piece to place us in Gotham City. It’s presented by a chorus, all dressed like Gotham citizens of varying social levels, and tells us what to expect as the story rolls out, of mean streets and its protector… and the victims of Crime Alley. — “He Has Never Explained.” Alfred gets the first solo, a song as internal monologue to explain how the faithful butler does his job, but wonders about his master’s annual agitation and apprehension over one particular day on the calendar… — “The Mean Streets.” Batman swings into action against a group of thieves stripping a car of valuables, and the men react through song to the hero’s interrogation concerning an old woman and her whereabouts… — “Just a Common Mugging.” A two-part tune, first taken up by the victim of a mugging saved by the Batman, and then after by a wino who’s able to impart valuable information to the Caped Crusader. Both of them express their confusion over why the masked man does what he does. — “Leslie’s Song.” Leslie Thompkins takes up the tune, musing on her life in Gotham and her history with its citizens. It’s a song with some joy and pride, but also sadness, and then menace, as the next bit of darkness approaches her… — “Pull a Gun on Me.” Finally, Batman himself limbers up...