Halloween is almost here!
By JIM BEARD
Monsters—can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, amirite?
Speaking for myself, I don’t want to picture a childhood or a life without Monsters in them, because that’s the way I grew up and still am after all these years. Whether in books, films, TV, comics, or in my dreams, Monsters have haunted me around every turn, and I’m better for it, for sure.
What’s a Monster with a capital “M”? It’s those creatures that rise above the garden variety monsters to make a name for themselves and impress who and what they are — despite the mystery that often surrounds them — upon impressionable minds to the point of cementing their infamy for eternity. They may be from the natural world or turned Monstrous by magical or scientific means, but in the end, they’re here to scare us… or make us fall in love with them.
Halloween always sends me down dark paths of thoughts of Monsters and all my most favorite from among their ilk. The ones that rise up above the others are the ones that usually made themselves known to me when I was a wee lad and came on strong to form a lifelong love-fright relationship with me. The chill may be mostly gone from the affairs with a lot of them, but the thrill remains. These are the Monsters I will never forget meeting, and who travel with me, always just out of the corner of my mind’s eye.
We’re going to do this chronologically, ’cause I’d never be able to rank these fantastical fiends, so strap yourselves in for a trip into Monsterland! Hope you survive the journey!
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The Loch Ness Monster (6th century?). It’s cool for me that Nessie comes up first because she’s my most-favorite “real world” Monster of all. When I think of all the time as a kid I poured over Loch Ness Monster books and photos as a kid, I know it was time well-spent with one of the greatest ongoing mysteries of all time. I don’t know if Nessie’s real, but she lives rent-free in my head.
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Count Dracula (Dracula, 1931). There have been many versions of Stoker’s Transylvanian titan on film, but they all have to pay homage to Bela Lugosi. Bela’s fastidious fashion sense hid a heart of evil that could barely be concealed, and when you watch him on the screen, you can see the beast that lurks just below the surface of the accent and evening dress. There’s a reason women swooned when they watched the 1931 OG, and that was all Bela Lugosi.
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The Frankenstein Monster (Bride of Frankenstein, 1935). I picked Bride’s portrayal of the Karloff Monster because not only is it an incredible film, but it’s also the last in the Universal cycle to show the transition the creature makes from villain to antihero (at best). Boris gives us the snarl and anger and the murderous rage, but he also makes us feel like maybe, just maybe, this guy truly did deserve a friend.
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The Wolf Man (The Wolf Man, 1941). The last of the truly great Universal Monsters, Lon Jr.’s hirsute howler is a marvel of a creation, from the makeup right down to Chaney’s poor, doomed Larry Talbot lurking inside it. Subsequent makeup artists always steer clear of the look of the Wolf Man because I think they know they can’t create anything like what Jack Pierce did, a lycanthrope that allowed the actor to shine through and give us one of the most well-balanced film Monsters of all.
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The Demon (Night of the Demon, 1957). I know the director of this little horror movie wasn’t terribly keen on actually showing the titular terror, but in the end the winged Monster that shows up to chase men to their doom is real corker, something you can believe the filmmakers conjured up from the Stygian depths to collect some union scale for its few minutes of screentime.
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Giant Squid (Doctor No, 1958). This one caught me unaware back when I first read the original Fleming James Bond novels, because I never expected some kind of daikaiju in a late-’50s spy story. Yet, there it was, the only time I’m aware of Bond battling a giant Monster in an official prose work, and one of the singular, unforgettable moments in the history of the character.
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Kryptonian Thought-Beasts (Superboy #87, 1961). Yeah, I’m not sure exactly where I first saw these dudes, but it was in a reprint in the early Seventies, and I’ve never forgotten them. I always got a kick out of the fact that being Monsters that looked like dinosaurs wasn’t good enough for creators Robert Bernstein and George Papp — they had to, you know, have wishful thought-projection screens on their noggins, too. That, um, showed them eating you. Yikes.
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Godzilla (Mothra vs. Godzilla, 1964). Just like Dracula, there’re a lot of Godzillas tramping through the Showa period of his films, but my favorite is and will always be the 1964 Big G. Not only is this the best of his looks, but he’s also still a “bad guy” here, for the most part, and makes one of the coolest, most frightening first-appearances ever. If you never thought a guy in a rubber suit could jump up out of a pile of dirt and be scary, watch this film.
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Mechanikong (King Kong Escapes, 1967). Technically, this bad boy first stomped into legend the year before in the 1966 King Kong Show cartoon, but I didn’t know that when I first saw the film version. All I knew was that a towering, mechanical ape was 100 times better than an actor in a goofy gorilla outfit, and much better suited to appeal to my taste in Monsters. Mechanikong is simply one of the very best characters to come out of Toho Studios, bar none.
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Matchemonedo (Kolchak: The Night Stalker, “The Energy Eater” 1974). Lots of stuff scared me on television when I was a kid, but the Monster from this story that only shows up in pictures from an X-ray machine that you have to assemble piece by piece, was one that stayed with me for a long, long time. In fact, it’s one of the only Monsters from the show I truly remember from watching it originally back in the day. That says something for ancient Native American bear gods.
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Man-Thing (Giant-Size Spider-Man #5, 1975). Okay, yes, I know our favorite Muck Monster first appeared in 1971’s Savage Tales #1, but this issue of GSSM is where I first found my way into the swamp and, alongside Spidey, felt myself burn at its touch. C’mon — once you get past the juvenile sniggering over the name, you have to admit this is one of Marvel’s very best Monsters, and no one ever wrote it like Steve Gerber. I also love M-T’s appearance in Marvel Studios’ Werewolf by Night TV special.
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Bigfoot (The Six Million Dollar Man, “The Secret of Bigfoot” 1976). Oh, my Austin, this one chilled me right down to my Batman slippers back in ’76. Nothing, nothing will ever wipe the memory of the moment that Andre the Giant in a hair suit with crazy eyes steps out of a clearing in the woods and in slow motion begins to show Steve just who the bionic top-dog is. To this day, it remains one of the most indelible Monster introductions ever put on film. Yow.
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The Fresno Nightcrawlere (security camera footage, 2007). I once lived in absolute ignorant bliss of not knowing of these particular Monsters, and I will never forgive the people who insisted on showing one to me one fine day. Real or fake or misunderstood or whatever, it creeped me the hell out. If you’ve never seen them, watch this. You’ll believe an adult can be frightened.
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MORE
— 13 MARVEL MONSTERS That Should Be in the MCU — RANKED. Click here.
— 13 FAMOUS MONSTERS COVERS: A Forrest J. Ackerman Birthday Celebration. Click here.
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JIM BEARD has pounded out adventure fiction since he sold a story to DC Comics in 2002. He’s gone on to write official Star Wars and Ghostbusters comics stories and contributed articles and essays to several volumes of comic book history. His prose work includes his own creations, but also licensed properties such as Planet of the Apes, X-Files, Spider-Man, Kolchak the Night Stalker and Captain Action. In addition, Jim provided regular content for Marvel.com, the official Marvel Comics website, for 17 years.
Check out his Shudder Stories, featuring his novella, Green Ghost.
