FRANCO’s FREE-FOR-ALL FRIDAYS! By FRANCO It’s that time of year again! Time for my annual Christmas rant! Oh you didn’t know? Your ass better call somebody then! (Please don’t take offense — that’s a wrestling reference.) Also, how could you know, as this is the first Christmas rant I’m doing and also I didn’t tell anybody I was doing it. Also again, I’m not sure it’s an annual thing as I hope to maybe do one next year but then I might forget and do something else entirely. Anyway… Let’s keep things under wraps. Do you wrap presents? Do you keep your geek flag showing and wrap things in superhero wrapping or do you just use that boring paper with pictures of candy cane and stuff? Maybe make it even easier on yourself and just put your gift in a gift bag. But gosh they’re so expensive! Need a cheaper option? You can get a bunch of those brown bags from Kohl’s, or equivalent department store, and just write “Spider-Man” on it with a big giant Sharpie. (They even have colored ones now from what I hear.) Boom! You got yourself a Christmas gift bag! Cookies! Do you bake all kinds or should you just make snickerdoodles like you’re supposed to? Oh, want to complain? There’s a comment section, but it won’t do you any good, ‘cause it’s MY Christmas rant! But! If you’re the Christmas cookie kind, how about little Bat symbols with little Santa hats drawn on them with icing? And then you’ll have half-eaten cookies strewn all about the house for the next couple weeks and when Christmas finally arrives, your wife will say, “What happened to all the cookies I made?” ‘Tis that time of year, so get in the spirit! I leave you to ponder such things as how many open-mouth kisses will you get? Whose Christmas ham is better? (And I’m not necessarily talking about the food here). Which relative is going to say “Comic books? You still read those?” Or better yet, “Comic books? They still make those?” Remember, it’s all fun and games ‘til Santa checks the naughty list, but at least you still have a couple weeks to change all that. May your Christmas be as fat and jolly as Santa after eating too many cookies! Happy Friday! — Want...