Posted By Dan Greenfield on Jul 21, 2025 | 5 comments

FANTASTIC FOUR WEEK…

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It’s FANTASTIC FOUR WEEK! Because there’s a big ol’ movie coming out! Click here for the COMPLETE INDEX of columns and features! Flame on! — Dan

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By JIM BEARD

Excitement, anticipation, and interest are riding high for Fantastic Four: First Steps — you may have heard something about it—which brings our total up to six movies focusing on our favorite fightin’ family.

Of course there was that misbegotten train wreck back in 2015 from director Josh Trank and an army of writers. Before that there was a duo of diarrhetic FF films released in 2005 and 2007 that tried but ultimately failed to make any true waves. And of course, we need to acknowledge the unreleased but eventually bootlegged Roger Corman still-birthed screener, a movie that actually did hold some promise if not an actual budget.

Jim’s new book! Details below!

But wait. You’re saying, “Jim, you cited six FF films! With the new MCU entry, that’s only five! What gives, bunky? Can’t you count?”

Well, True Believers, you’re missing the very first Fantastic Four movie, of course, way back in 1962.

Lemme ‘splain. In fact, I’ll do even better and give you my TOP 13 FANTASTIC FACTS about the film, as the making of it was shown in Fantastic Four #9, by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby themselves…

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“Bulletin! The world-famous Fantastic Four are bankrupt!” It’s a great set-up to get us into the story, but it kind of comes out of nowhere. Turns out there was a real-world stock market downturn in 1962 called the “Kennedy Slide” and the “Flash Crash.” I guess ol’ Reed shouldn’t have invested everything he made from his inventions in stocks. He should’ve been more, y’know, flexible.

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“…like the super heroes in some of these comic magazines…” I’ve always gotten a kick out of the old days when Stan and Jack brought the meta to the Marvel Universe and blurred the lines between the “real” costumed crumb bums and the ones in those “comic magazines.”

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“One million dollars cash to us…” I mean, I dunno, maybe I’m a little ignorant about what actors were paid for films back in ’62, but that seems to be a lot of dough to shell out to non-professionals. Maybe Reed should’ve twigged to what was going on. At least Ben smelled something “fishy” was going on.

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“With all the celebrities around here…” It’s a glorious Kirby moment when the King populates the Hollywood studio the team ends up at with the likes of Alfred Hitchcock, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Jackie Gleason, James Arness, etc. Jack had a real knack for likenesses.

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“Look! Holy Cow! You!” The Sub-Mariner’s reveal in the story is both creepy and farcical. The sight of the early-FF otherworldly Namor in a pinstripe suit and ascot and sporting a ciggy in a long holder is almost too strange for words.

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“What about my script?” Lookit you, Mr. Reed Richards—all “what about my script” like you have any clue about how the movie biz works. Namor tells him to chill, baby, and “just do what comes naturally” for the little battle scene he’s arranged on a previously “lost” island in the Mediterranean. Yeah, sounds a little Sub-Mariner sketchy to me.

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“It’s the real Cyclops…” Fantastic Four #9 came out about a year before The X-Men #1 and you sorta have to wonder if the name “Cyclops” here more or less stuck in Lee and Kirby’s fevered brains and grew into ol’ Slim Summers’ nom de spandex.

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“…a strange tribe which is immune to fire!” The Cyclops didn’t give Mr. Fantastic too much of a challenge, but the so-called “fire-eaters” that Johnny Storm battles for the alleged film are a worthy foe for the Human Torch. One would think they should have bedeviled him again, maybe in Strange Tales, but so far as I can tell this is their only appearance.

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“…we’ll shoot our big fight scene…” Forget Cyclops and fire-eaters and all that razzmatazz — the thing (pun intended) we paid our hard-earned shekels to see here is the throwdown between Subby and Ben Grimm. It’s a doozy, too, until Fate takes a hand and…

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“…the electrical charge causes the Thing to change…” Yeah, once again, Ben reverts to his regular, human form, something that seemed to happen a lot back in the first year or so of the mag. Thing is (pun intended), this time it was because of a “super-charged bolt of lightning,” not one of Reed’s potions or devices or whatever. Totally random and not a little too convenient.

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“Here is a power you cannot combat!” Namor seemed to suddenly gain a whole slew of weird abilities back then, and this story was no exception. He trots out both the “power of an electrical eel” and “radar vision” — which conveniently allows him to defeat the most powerful member of the FF, Sue Storm. Subby! Stay in your lane, dude! You can swim and you’re strong! That’s it!

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“…we made a contract with Namor!” Despite the ooey-gooey love clouding her eyes when she looked at the Sub-Mariner’s speedos, the Invisible Girl had a point when she reminded Namor that he had an obligation to the team and needed to come through with the bread.

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“…all America acclaims a new motion picture hit…” Despite very little footage being shot and the director walking away from the film, somehow it gets made and audiences love it. Let’s hope the same thing happens in the real world. It’d be nice to have an FF movie we can all be proud of.

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MORE

— The Complete FANTASTIC FOUR WEEK INDEX of Columns and Features. Click here.

— KERRY CALLEN: Boy, THE HUMAN TORCH and SPIDER-MAN Have No Sense of Decorum. Click here.

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When JIM BEARD’s not editing and publishing through his two houses, Flinch Books and Becky Books, he’s pounding out adventure fiction with both original and licensed characters. In fact, he’s put words in the mouths of Luke Skywalker, Superman, Fox Mulder, Carl Kolchak, Peter Venkman and the Green Hornet… and lived to tell about it.

Check out his latest: Jack of All Comics! is 28 essays by some of today’s most engaging comic historians and fans on nearly every series Jack Kirby worked on for Marvel and DC from 1961 to 1978. It’s better’n a Boom Tube to Supertown, True Believers! Click here to order.