The REEL RETRO CINEMA columnist pays tribute to the screen siren, who has died at 82…
By ROB KELLY
The iconic Miss Teschmacher, Valerine Perrine, has died at age 82 due to Parkinson’s disease.
Born in 1943, Perrine was an Army brat who ended up as a Vegas showgirl in the late 1960s. For many people, “Late ’60s Vegas Showgirl” would be the defining experience of their life. But for Perrine, it was just the beginning.
Moving to Los Angeles in the early 1970s, Perrine found herself at a dinner party where an agent was looking to cast a small, but key, role in director George Roy Hill’s adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five. Despite not being an actress, she was offered the role of soft-core porn actress Montana Wildhack. Her combination of sweetness and undeniable sex appeal made Perrine pop off the screen, and she was on her way to a Hollywood career.
In just her third film, she was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role as stripper Honey Bruce, girlfriend to tortured comedian Lenny Bruce (played by Dustin Hoffman) in Bob Fosse’s Lenny. She appeared in other films alongside actors like Jeff Bridges, Jackie Gleason, and Rod Steiger, but it was in 1978 that she achieved silver screen immortality.
Superman director Richard Donner originally pictured superstar Goldie Hawn as Lex Luthor’s gal pal Eve Teschmacher, but the producers refused to pay her requested salary. They then turned to Ann Margret, who was also deemed too expensive. Donner then went to Valerie, who took the role and made it her own. As Donner later remarked in the audio commentary to the film, “Sometimes the third choice is the best choice.”
Valerie’s Miss Teschmacher is sadistic and malevolent to be sure (watch the way she claps with glee when Luthor threatens to beat the hell out of Otis in the van), but the actress’ inherent loveableness still shines through. So it makes sense, dramatically, when she eventually does a reverse heel turn in the final third of the movie and helps rescue the Man of Stee l— but not before stealing a kiss. It says something about how irresistible Miss Teschmacher is that she manages to foil Luthor’s plan, landing him in prison, and yet they are still a couple in Superman II.
Perrine went on to appear in movies with Robert Redford, Jack Nicholson, Michael Caine, and the Village People! That is enough stories for several lifetimes.
After she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, she was the subject of an unvarnished 2019 documentary about her life, simply called Valerie. It showed, warts and all, the realities of dealing with that cruel disease. It was directed by her friend and caregiver Stacey Souther, and it was through him that I got to befriend Valerie. My co-host Chris Franklin and I devoted an episode of our Superman Movie Minute podcast to the documentary, and she responded by sending us signed photos of her. That is not anything the 8-year-old me, sitting in the theater watching Superman, could have ever imagined was possible.
I continued keeping tabs on her via social media, wishing her a happy birthday every year. When I found a copy of a 1981 Playboy she appeared in while in an antique store (complete with a form-fitting “S” shield on her chest, DC must have loved that), I messaged her then and there, jokingly asking “Hey Valerie, if I bought this will you sign it for me?” She immediately responded, “Sure!” I never got the chance to send it to her.
Valerie continued to highlight her connection to the ever-expanding world of Superman, making friends with other cast members, some of whom she never even had any scenes with. All the while working to bring attention to the plight of people with Parkinson’s.
Valerie Perrine managed to pack a lot of life into her 82 years, and her work will live on for as long as people watch the original Superman. Which means, she’ll live forever.
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MORE
— REEL RETRO CINEMA: 1981’s SUPERMAN II: A Euphoric, Enduring Classic. Click here.
— SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE Turns 45: Celebrating the Ultimate MAN OF STEEL. Click here.
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ROB KELLY is a podcaster, writer, illustrator, and film commentator. You can find his work at robkellycreative.com.
